I was pregnant with my first child. She is adorable, by the way.
At that time we were living with my in-laws. We could have lived with my parents, but I did not want my husband to feel uncomfortable.
But It was uncomfortable for me. And every time I felt I needed a break I would ask him to go and spend some time with my mom. Boy, the comfort was unbelievable. Not that I was not welcomed in my in-laws home, but it felt different. I had to prove that I was good enough for their son, I had to prove that I can cook and take care of him. I had to prove, prove, prove - that's how I felt. Maybe it was only in my head, I do not know but it was hard to live like that day every day.
I wanted to be myself, I was dreaming for the time spent with my mom - I needed her unconditional love.
Don't get me wrong. We had arguments, we were mad at each other, we were fighting over daily stuff. But at the end of the day we were friends, we laughed together, we celebrated together. She was so good to deal with my, "I know, do not tell me what to do" attitude, but somehow I always listened to what she had to say without admitting it.
So there I was - pregnant. Ready to deliver. All night with contractions.
The morning came; we told his parents that I am ready and I wanted to call my mom. Then my mother-in-law suggested that we surprise my mom after I had the baby. And I agreed. I thought it was a good idea at first but something was not right.
I was so scared and I wanted my mom to be with us at that moment.
Here, I have to say that I had an amazing relationship with my mom - she was my role model - I admired her for her smile, courage, passion, love. She never gave up on anything, she was a fighter with a huge heart. Every one loved her because she was very special. To be honest I wanted to be like her, very often.
Anyway - my mom's house was on the way to the hospital and so I took advantage of that. I said, “I need a restroom, I won’t make it to the hospital!"
So we stopped.
I do not know why I wanted so badly for my mom to be there. I had my husband who is the most loving man in the world, but I still wanted her. I wanted to share this big life event with my husband and her. Somehow I thought I would feel safer.
Maybe it sounds not right but now I know my " Why?"
Because she was my ANGEL!
P.S. I lost my mom last year - from my life but not from my heart.
P.S. Give your mom everything - she deserves everything!
Even if your relationship is not the best , even if you do not want to talk to her or you are upset about something and mad at her for a reason - all that is not important, deep inside she wants the best for you - forgive, love and care!